Someone who is sober curious may not meet the medical criteria for alcohol use disorder, or they may not intend to give up alcohol permanently. A therapist can help you learn new coping skills, develop new thinking patterns, and address any co-occurring mental health conditions that may make recovery more difficult. Research shows that if you maintain these types of toxic relationships, your chances of relapsing are greater. To avoid relapse and remain sober, it’s important to develop healthy relationships. I love that I am not modelling to my kids that regular, daily wine consumption is a normal way to live. I love that I am showing that it is possible to have a great time at parties, BBQs, on holiday, at Christmas time etc without touching alcohol (not a common sight in this country).
Practise mindful consumption
It’s part of the sobriety package, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sobriety can be an incredible way to shed relationships you’ve outgrown as well as find new ones that align with your new values. So if all of your friends drink alongside you, then there’s no issue, right? Well, there’s a concept in psychology known as “confirmation bias,” and it means that we often look for evidence to support something that we already believe to be true. Personally, I always thought drunk people were fun, and I didn’t want my own poop relationship with alcohol to stand out. I wanted to blend in nicely with a crowd who understood that sometimes you just want to drink your face off, or one that didn’t think anything was weird about a glass of noon wine.
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Stock up on non-alcoholic options you love, like alcohol-free beers, kombucha, or fancy mocktails. Having something in your hand helps you feel part of the vibe. Shift the focus from what’s in your glass to the connections you’re making. I used to think my deep, drunken conversations connected me to people but often it was me just waffling on, not absorbing what whoever was sat opposite me was actually saying. Now I’m definitely more attentive and conversations are more interesting.
- If you’re involved in a 12-step program, you likely already know the importance of milestones.
- Over time, I learnt not to engage with my own internal bully / the inner meanie who ran the show.
- The journey to self love can be slow and difficult but in order to help you get there, there are some simple things you can do every single day to make yourself feel good.
- If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or addiction issues, you can check out my resource page for suggestions on how to find help.
- My drunken life was always based around my next paycheck.
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When I got sober, it became very clear who I hung out with because I needed bar buddies and Sober House Rules: What You Should Know Before Moving In who I actually enjoyed being around. The great thing is that you might be surprised! Somebody who was just a casual acquaintance can become one of your closest friends. People who abuse alcohol get to a point in their drinking where they cannot manage any emotion in a healthy way. Drinking is the solution to boredom, frustration, sadness, and extreme happiness.
Practice Healthy Living
Recovery is not some magic inoculation against the trials and tribulations of being human. What it can do is make us more aware of what’s behind these peaks and valleys and better able to reach out for and accept help in navigating the valleys. It was only once I got sober that I started getting treatment for depression, and a few years into sobriety, I was diagnosed with ADHD. There were, and are, plenty of other challenges.
Motherhood is one of these when, even if we have support, we can become depleted and overwhelmed. Before I became sober, my drinking looked on the surface to be ‘normal’ and drank about the same as most of my friends did. A few glasses of wine a few nights a week and a bottle or so on a Saturday night, whilst I nicked my husband’s fags.
If a show – or if I’m being completely honest a commercial – played inspirational music and started to make me tear up, I’d push the feeling down and bury it. When people first get sober—specifically from alcohol because it’s such a big part of how our society socializes—they often worry that people will notice they’re not drinking and ask uncomfortable questions about why. I hope this is less true now with the proliferation of trends like Dry January and “sober curiosity,” but either way, most people don’t care.
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Anger is a normal and natural emotion, but how you deal with it will make a difference in maintaining your recovery. Consider reaching out to a vocational rehabilitation counselor or career coach to help you update your resume, practice job interview skills, and locate jobs that match your skills and experience. Financial troubles and problems finding and keeping employment are major triggers for relapse, but it is possible to take baby steps and get your finances in order. Just keep in mind that your improvements won’t happen overnight. Doctors’ appointments and health check-ups are no longer an exercise in deception. When I arrive at the ‘How many units do you drink in a week?
- I’d bet nine out of 10 of us won’t even answer, and we’ll just laugh because it’s such a ridiculous question.
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- Within weeks of quitting drinking, people noticed a physical change.
- People everywhere can and want to help; you just have to know where to look.
- An espresso martini found it’s way into my mouth and coated my heart with caffeine goodyness.
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The ability to think, read a book, engage in an intelligent conversation, actually have IDEAS again, and not just loop terrible thoughts on autopilot in your brain https://northiowatoday.com/2025/01/27/sober-house-rules-what-you-should-know-before-moving-in/ is liberating. It’s one of the best benefits of sobriety I’ve experienced. This one happened for me relatively early on, and that’s WITH pregnancy brain. It is an incredible feeling to have that fog lift. You quite literally feel like a brand new person.