Seeking therapy, joining support groups, and developing communication skills can help ACOAs overcome isolation and build meaningful connections with others. Sometimes alcoholic parents can be so harsh that more than talking is required. That being said, if talking simply won’t work, and your parents are not a threat to you, get out of the house. From moving in with a different relative to joining a club, the less time you spend at home right now, the better.
For example, if you couldn’t depend on your parent to feed you breakfast or take you to school in the morning, you may have become self-reliant early on. As a result, Peifer says you could have difficulty accepting love, nurturing, and care from partners, friends, or others later in life. Growing up with a parent who has AUD can create an environment of unpredictability, fear, confusion, Breaking the Cycle of Chronic Relapse and distress, says Peifer. These conditions can take a toll on your sense of safety, which may then affect the way you communicate with and relate to others. Yet while your parent didn’t choose to have AUD, their alcohol use can still affect you, particularly if they never get support or treatment.
9-Year-Old Children of Alcoholics
According to the National Association for Children of Alcoholics, it’s important for children of alcoholics to know they are not alone and that alcohol addiction is a disease. Children also need to know that their parent’s alcohol addiction is not their fault and that they can’t fix it, but there are safe places and people who can help. Children who are raised by a parent with an alcohol addiction are more likely than other children to experience emotional neglect, physical neglect and emotional and behavioral problems. Approximately 50 percent will develop an alcohol addiction later on in their own life.
Children of alcoholics are at higher risk than others for emotional issues. Obviously everyone will have his or her own personal experience, but there are some common effects of being a COA. Shame is commonly felt, especially if the child is hiding the parental alcoholism. The child may feel embarrassed of the parents, and this may cause the child to lie or even develop a story to explain it.
Personality Traits of Adult Children of Alcoholics
However, it’s important to note that not all ACOAs will face these challenges, and many can lead lives without the shadow of their parents’ AUD. Support groups and recovery programs are available to help ACOAs cope with their unique experiences. These programs provide a platform for sharing experiences and learning how to manage the lasting impacts of childhood trauma.
Health Challenges
This can result in overreactions to minor relationship conflicts or an overwhelming fear of abandonment. ACOAs often face unique challenges in romantic relationships that stem from the unpredictable and sometimes chaotic environment of their upbringing. Understanding these traits is crucial for ACOAs to start healing and for their loved ones to provide the necessary support. Recognition of these patterns is the first step towards recovery and building healthier relationships and self-perceptions. These traits are coping mechanisms that have developed over time in response to the unpredictable and often chaotic home life created by AUD.
- Even if the child is upset or angry with you, continue to offer unconditional love and support.
- Children of alcoholic parents are a population at risk for poor school performance, skipping school days, and school dropout due to the unstable environment that disrupts the child’s ability to focus on their studies.
- Research shows that a child’s risk of becoming an alcoholic is greater if their alcoholic parent is depressed or suffers from other co-occurring disorders.
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- In addition, all too often, the parent who is not an alcoholic is too swept up in their spouse’s disease to meet the child’s needs.
- Please visit adultchildren.org to learn more about the problem and solution, or to find an ACA meeting near you.
Difficulty expressing and regulating emotions can affect your overall well-being and contribute to challenges in your personal relationships. Although people with AUD aren’t “bad” people (or “bad” parents), their alcohol use can create a home environment not suited for a child. A 2021 study shows that parental alcohol abuse significantly increases the chance of having a dysfunctional family environment.
Guilt is also commonly felt by children of alcoholics, but it is very important to realize and remember that it is not the child’s fault, regardless of what may be said. One in five adult Americans have lived with an alcoholic relative while growing up. In general, these children are at greater risk for having emotional problems than children whose parents are not alcoholics.